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| I'd always been the responsible one,
in a way - the one that made sure expense reports were
handed to Skinner on time; that always played by the
proverbial large but restrictive and stringent book; who
kept faith in the idea that rational explanations were
the answer to everything. Five words, a smirk, and suddenly the door is firmly locked on all that - the 'Ice Queen' - forever. Of course, I've known for some time now how much I've changed, developed, grown over the long duration of our partnership, just as I came to realise how much the depth of our connection and relationship had, too. But as Mulder playfully, yet trustingly, hands me the final decision on as to whether we return to the site of our first case so many years ago to investigate the possibility of more abductions or stay and await our fate at the hands of the auditor, everything that we've come to acknowledge and embrace together over the past month fully sinks in, and my answer is given before I've even had chance to shoot it down. "Let's go waste some money." The thing is, after I have said it, I *don't* want to shoot it down, though. I don't regret saying it. And as we move side-by-side down the dimly-lit corridor to the elevator, my soul feels even freer than ever before. This is who I am now, without regret or doubt, and that's what Daniel couldn't understand when I told him I wasn't the person I'd been ten years ago - situations, consequences, experience, people...love...can change even the most stubborn person. Yes, being with Mulder and sharing a love with him greater than anything I've ever known or could even imagine knowing has changed me, but he hasn't, in any way, forced and purposely initiated that change - hasn't tried to turn me into somebody else, like the others in my past. He's only ever wanted me to be *me*, no matter what. In truth, we have both developed, and that's why, as we wait for the elevator car to arrive at the basement, he stares at me wondering if I know what I said but never doubting it. Anything is possible, and as long as we continue to grow together it will stay that way forever. Five words, and our truth was set in stone eternally. THE END |
DISCLAIMER:
Still not mine, so that must mean that The X-Files and all
characters associated with it remain property of Chris Carter,
Fox, 1013 etc. ....Darn...
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