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This is not happening.
So many times I've said that through the years. So many moments
of tightly squeezing my eyes shut and praying that when I open
them again that it's all been a bad dream. The thing is, it never
is. This time is no exception.
This *is* happening.
Maybe it's time I just accept it and stop trying to fool myself,
but too much is at stake this time: Mulder's back, and he's on
trial for the supposed 'murder' of a man we all damn well know
can't die...a supersoldier by the name of Knowle Rohrer. Of
course, the trial is as big a sham as the reason for its
existence, but still I sit here testifying for my partner in the
futile hope that for once we're thrown a life-saving line.
The prosecutor stands, my anger rises, and for a brief moment I
lock eye contact with the cowardly bastard that could have put an
end to this... Obviously, however, my begging had not been enough
to appeal to the side of him that had warned of the danger to
Mulder's life at the start of the year.
'You send him away to save us, and now you're going to let Them
do *this*?'
'I told you, Agent Scully, the risks. I made it clear to you what
would happen if Mulder came back - if They found him. The fact
is, your partner - for all of that - got too close and They
caught him. The situation is out of my hands now.'
'But...You can--...He had to--...He has a clean record and he was
the Bureau's top agent! Surely those good qualities of character
can be used to get him released? You know he wouldn't kill
anybody in cold blood, and it's bad enough that this military
officer he's accused of killing can't actually be killed! Are you
really telling me power must always rule over justice?'
'...Justice, Agent Scully? These people know nothing of such a
thing!'
'But--'
'I will try to see what I can do, but I can't make promises.'
*Try*? Promises? He'd probably laughed his head off after I'd
left the office.
I'd made a quick prayer to God on my way to meet back up with
Skinner, but not even He seemed to be listening.
"...hard to keep count without a scorecard..."
Who the hell is this Agent Kallenbrunner? Who does he think he is
with that smug grin and rude ignorance - scoffing at everything I
have had to go through since joining the X-Files? ...At all
Mulder and I have fought for, lost, sacrificed for nine years?
But then, I was once as naive as him, so maybe I should put it
down to his blindness to this corrupt world.
In the end, that won't save Mulder, though.
"You're being facetious," I grind out, staring at the
prosecutor with eyes like daggers.
Unfazed, still he questions the evidence right under his nose. No
proof? The Mars rock isn't enough? Doesn't he find it convenient
that nothing regarded as 'proof' has survived? Either he really
is that ignorant, or he's one of Them and purposely burying the
truth.
There's a pause, he looks down at his notes briefly, and then:
"Agent Scully, isn't it true that you and Mulder were lovers
and you got pregnant and had his lovechild?"
Just beyond my peripheral vision I sense Mulder's head snap up
and the tether that had been keeping my emotions in check until
now finally breaks. Kallenbrunner had successfully made what
Mulder and I share sound like some sordid affair out of a daytime
soap opera...and William--
The walls quickly go back up around my heart before the thought
of my lost son reduces me to tears yet again in front of these
monsters that are the cause of it all. Even the word used to
describe him shoots an arrow of pain into my core.
Lovechild.
Yes, he was the product of the overwhelming care, trust and love
me and my partner have for each other, but why does the word make
me feel so dirty at the same time?
My mouth moves to object, but nothing comes out and all I can do
is watch as Kallenbrunner returns to his seat - believing his job
of belittling me is over.
*Where's that fire I love about you?* Mulder's voice in my head
queries, and as my anger begins to reach boiling point, I realize
I don't know the answer.
"Agent Scully?" Kersh starts, clearing his throat, when
I don't move from the chair. "You can leave now."
No, I can't leave...Not yet - not while Kallenbrunner's spiteful
accusation remains in the air. This may be happening, but I sure
as hell am not going to let him degrade the meaning and
importance of my partnership with Fox Mulder - sounding like
something hot off the rumor mill!
"Lovers?!" I suddenly spit out, fixing my gaze on the
shocked prosecutor and standing up. "Why does everybody have
the monotonous, adolescent and ignorant idea in their head that
just because Agent Mulder and I worked well as a team, we must
surely be having some kind of torrid affair behind closed
doors?"
There was the faint sound of Mulder's snatched breath intake, but
that was then washed out by Kallenbrunner's "But you *did*
sleep together." No hint of question at all.
"I was assigned to *destroy* this man's hard work, so that
the lies would remain buried, but what They didn't anticipate
when They assigned me, was that I would actually come to respect
Agent Mulder's plight, an--"
"Are you denying ever sleeping with Agent Mulder?"
Kallenbrunner snaps, pointing a finger at me and then my partner
as he stands again.
"For eight years Mulder and I made sacrifices most others
wouldn't - he lost the remaining members of his family, and my
sister was gunned down in my place. I barely survived Cancer that
by all laws of science should have killed me; all my ova were
taken, leaving me supposedly infertile; Mulder was abducted and
tortured to death...I...I..."
"Scully..." I hear the whispered reassurance from my
right to try calm me, but as the most recent wounds are laid bare
once again, I just can't stop my tear-choked tirade.
"For six months I searched aimlessly for my partner - three
months of which I had to mourn his death. By a miracle, he was
brought back. Another miracle gave us a son, but then - for
safety - Mulder had to leave... Not long ago I had to give away
our son..." William. God, what had I done? How could Mulder
forgive me for giving away his son when I couldn't even forgive
myself? This shouldn't be happening...
'This is not happening.'
But again I have to remind myself that it is.
"Agent Scu-"
"Leave her alone!"
I turn my head to see my partner also now on his feet - guards
rushing to flank either side of him in case he should make a
move. He briefly eyes them, but then fixes his warm gaze on me
and gives a slight, slow nod of his head. I take that as my cue
and look back at the out-of-state agent.
"Nine years of pain, tears, heartache, risks, running,
deception and a million other things, but against all odds we've
survived and reached this point. We've shared the greatest trust,
care and friendship others can only dream of, and I'm sure you'll
never know. Did we sleep together? Yes, we finally consummated
our relationship after seven years of denial. But before you
refer to it as some mindless and insignificant dirty act,
consider how much we had to go through to get there! We're not
'lovers' - we never have been and never will be. We're ^more^
than that - a *lot* more: we're the bestest of friends.
Soulmates. Partners."
With nothing left to say, I kicked back the chair, heard Mulder's
muttered "Amen", and then marched steadily out of the
room.
Nobody uttered a word to stop me.
And I *was* right; 'Lovers' would never be a word to describe the
deep connection we shared. And William - my dear, sweet William -
was not just a 'lovechild': he was a miracle created by two
determined souls that, even in the darkness, continued to
believe. The sooner everybody else finally realized that, the
better.
For now, I must calm down and get him out of here, though, before
the darkness swallows us.
...If only this wasn't happening...
**********
THE END
**********
=============================================================================
AUTHOR'S NOTE: She DIDN'T argue back?
What the f--?!?!? I know people moan about how different Scully
was in seasons 8 & 9, but I always put it down to a need for
character development (heck, how can you not expect her emotions
to show more after all she's been through?). But, I'm sorry CC:
her testimony in The Truth was unforgivable!!! The Scully we know
and love would never have just sat there and let the arrogant
little man have the final word; I have to wonder if her
personality was transplanted into Reyes after her impressive
fiery tirade!
=============================================================================
DISCLAIMER:
*YAWN* Huh? Oh, yeah they're mine - I bought 'em off eBay for a
great price (found them under the title 'mistreated, broken
characters in need of better home') My username's
'suchbadliarsuckers'...You didn't see me bid? Ah well, I guess
until you find out properly, they remain the legal property of
CC, Fox, 1013 and all their affiliates! *sigh*
bravenet.com