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This
is my December,
This is my snow covered home......
These are my snow-covered trees.
........................................~'My December' by Linkin Park
Breathing. His lungs were dragging in frozen air that stabbed
like a thousand burning knives. White on white, no sounds just
the feel of winter white flakes stinging his cheeks. Hot air out,
breathing freezing blasts back in. The pain was overwhelming and
the silence was terrifying. He could not scream. So weak.
Warm hands and fingers worried his forehead, moving slowly,
patting down his body searching for something. The smell of
winter air and blood. Voices came at him like distorted whispers
of angels that his mind wanted to answer but his mouth wouldn't
seem to work. Mouth open, freezing lungs, no sound. Cold and wet
through.
Strong arms gathered him against a steel wall, with it brought
the searing agony back full force along with startling snatches
of an accident, the sensation of pinballing through earth, snow
and tree stumps, mocking him in wintry desolation. Collision
memories of slamming into something with devastating and
instantly agonizing force, bleeding into his broken consciousness
like a knife prying it open. Not good.
On the move now, someone else's breathe duelling with the violent
thumping of his heart. Eyes open to the sky; he saw nothing but
white and the feather sting of flakes in burning eyes, his mouth,
mingling with tears of pain.
Instinctively his head turned into the warm wall at his cheek,
trying to become part of it. Battered limbs dangling like a rag
doll on this unknown flight through the winter chill. For a
second his swollen eyes caught a flash of red. A revelation
shocking against the otherwise blinding white. Worried blue eyes
like ice crystals that inexplicably eased his gasping breaths, a
touch and everything faded into oblivion.
Two hefty kicks and the old wood door creaked in protest, as it
swung inward, revealing the best sight they could have hoped for
on this horrible Christmas Eve.
"Lie him down in here quickly." Scully's breathless
plea was accompanied by a cloud of frozen mist rising above her
head as Skinner jogged after her, into the first bedroom they
found in the freezing deserted cabin.
Carefully he laid his soaking limp burden down onto the bed.
Immediately, finding himself unceremoniously elbowed out of the
way by Scully, in full doctor mode in her haste to get to her
injured partner. There was altogether too much blood for her
liking, or Skinners for that matter. In Scully's medical opinion,
this much blood soaking through Fox Mulder's flimsy suit jacket
was not good.
"How is he?" It was out of his mouth before he could
think of anything else to say. Winded and bruised from his own
flight through the woods to this welcome haven. Scully sounded
breathless with worry, unable to acknowledge the blood pooling
along her hairline for now.
"I'm still looking, dammit! All this blood doesn't look
good!" Her voice snapped like a raw winter twig. Her harsh
breathing filled up the room; despair mingling with the white
clouds from her mouth that rose in swirls.
The question at best was premature, he knew that as he stood
feeling uncharacteristically useless, watching his flame haired
agent feverishly running her hands all over every inch of
Mulder's body, assessing his latest batch of injuries,
desperately trying to find the source of all the blood that
covered most of his torso.
Skinner spied one curiously angled ankle dangling by the end of
the bed. Didn't take a doctor to imagine that Mulder would be
getting steel plates and pins as part of his Christmas bounty.
That's if he didn't bleed out first before he made it to the
hospital.
Shit.
"I need to keep him warm. He's like a block of ice.... Sir.
Blankets?" her voice was kinder this time, her eyes never
leaving her patient. Her fingers were making short work of the
hapless agent's sopping clothes. Galvanized into action, Skinner
rifled the closets for blankets or sheets, vaguely aware that he
might have bumped his own head. He wasn't usually this slow on
the uptake. From rolling the car onto its roof and sliding down
the bank, to locating Mulder and kicking in the door here,
everything had happened so fast. All thoughts of any injuries
they might have had on this god-forsaken night paled when they
realized that Mulder, like Elvis had left the building, well in
this case the wreck of their car.
The sight of the fresh air windshield, the blood splatters on the
dash, had them out of the car like rats deserting a sinking ship,
scouring the deep woods below the bank.
And then they found him.
Mainly because the puddle of red stood out in stark contrast to
the endless white. Fortunately, they'd spotted his limp body
wedged upside-down against a snow-covered rock before the last
gimlet slither of light vanished over the next mountain. Only
Mulder could render himself trussed up like some macabre
raspberry ripple snowball ... somewhere in beautiful
Fuckknowswhere-Montana. Shit.
Crunching through waist deep snow, Mulder cradled against his
chest like a lost child, Skinner had the insane urge to whistle
"In the bleak midwinter". He clamped his lips firmly
shut, mindful that blood covered Mulder and his own tuneless
whistling did not a good idea make and Scully might well go for
her gun. Thank Christ they'd found the cabin.
Hitting pay dirt, he pulled a huge pile of linens and blankets
off the shelves in the second room he tried, making a mental note
to himself that he should never again under any circumstances,
accompany Mulder and Scully to another seminar this close to a
major public holiday in dubious weather conditions, involving
interstate travel through perilous mountain passes which probably
only opened for 5 short months of the year; probably none of
which included December. It was asking for trouble.
Probably safer to stay in DC - At the very least, book in
somewhere with excellent medical facilities, barely ditching
distance away from Fox Mulder. Sadly out here, a hospital was
just a castle in the air and although they'd salvaged Scully's
considerable medical kit, he had a feeling that it was going to
be sadly lacking.
A lot of the glass containers of things like Demerol were smashed
when the car turned over or was unusable. In respect of himself,
Scully would undoubtedly need a hand with Mulder and he could
only hope watching those M*A*S*H reruns would come in handy.
Mulder was a magnet for this kind of shit. Pass the eggnog, merry
fucking Christmas!
"AD Skinner.... Walter?" Scully's panic laced voice
broke him out of his lamentation. She stood up when he walked
back in, her teeth were chattering with a combination of fear and
cold. She was nursing a bloody finger in her mouth. She moved
aside so he had full view of Mulder's bloody chest, pulling back
the dressing momentarily. Skinner stared dumbly through his
fractured glasses, giving him twice the horror.
The pile of blankets fell at her feet, Skinner found himself
kneeling beside her at the bed placing his large warm hands over
her own shaking ones, as they both contemplated the disturbed and
ragged flesh in front of them. Mulder's eyes found his all of a
sudden; they were huge with pain and bore deeply into his own. Oh
God, he was conscious.
Scully had already started an IV and cut off most of his clothes.
Quickly, they covered his body with all the blankets, mindful to
leave the considerably open chest wound exposed and away from
irritating fibers, except for surgical dressing. They wrapped a
smaller blanket around his head like a turban to help him retain
body heat. He was clenching his teeth and muttering incoherently
under his breath.
"Holy hell! Mulder, You never do anything the easy way. Do
you? " Skinner couldn't quite work the grimace out of his
face, knowing how much pain and trouble Mulder was in.
Scully swallowed her fear and became all business like, except
from the comforting noises she made to Mulder, too quiet for
Skinner to really hear. He knew she was unaware that he knew
they'd become intimate and it was a recent thing. What a shitty
deal, their first Christmas too.
"It's freezing in here. I need hot water and I'm going to
need a hand removing. ...This." She gestured to the hideous
foreign body half embedded diagonally across Mulder's left
breast. Skinner nodded. Inwardly cursing that Mulder was again
suffering like this.
Somewhere during his Olga Korbut Swallow dive down the snowy
bank, Mulder had touched down on a coiled length of rusty, but
lethal looking razor wire which had eaten into his chest like a
ravenous dog, pushed in further and further as his body rolled
down the white abyss, until it possessed his flesh with dozens of
tearing metallic teeth. It was wedged in a good few inches below
his left nipple, the hideous barbs disappearing into a large
bloody hole, with the rest of its blood drenched length
protruding at either end like two spiked alien caterpillars.
Bloodied pieces of his dress shirt poked up through the carnage
like a blossoming flower, another potentially lethal source of
infection.
The AD had seen injuries like this in Nam a lifetime ago, but it
still chilled him to imagine this stuff twisted and entwined,
tearing, desiccating Mulder's flesh like a ripe tomato. Hopefully
his ribs had got in the way of more serious internal damage to
heart or lungs. Even so he had to be in incredible pain.
"Look what Santa... brought me this year. I must have been
naughty...either that he got mixed up with Halloween... decided I
deserved the trick." Mulder spluttered weakly.
"Maybe close, Mulder, it was a huge deer that careened
across the path of our car. Faulty seatbelt failed and the impact
of the crash threw you out the car. I'm going to sue the ass off
the rental company. Your head especially lost an argument with
the windshield. Take it easy, dont fidget. I don't want
this thing shifting, doing any more damage." Scully muttered
as she hauled her medical bag up and began ferreting through it.
At least some of it was intact.
"Frigging Rudolf...always hated him. The CSM among his
species...So cold, Scully...tired.... I could go to sleep
now."
"No you can't. Sorry, Mulder, you have a concussion."
"What will... you do if I do?"
"Il have to slap you," Skinner smiled, but it didn't
quite reach his eyes.
Mulder grimaced, and coughed, drawing blood on his bottom lip.
"Other people have notches on their... beds. I just get
concussions...OW!!"
He almost flew off the bed as Scully's fingers began to probe the
wound again. She'd hooked one of those big eye magnifiers over
her glasses and looked unnerving. "Jesus what the hell is
that. Scully?" he gazed down at what looked like hamburger
but was a gaping rip in his chest. Seeing it truly for the first
time.
"Razor wire, the nastiest I've ever seen. It's got to come
out. Now." Scully implored, locking eyes with her boss
momentarily before turning her attention back to Mulder. Again he
nodded dumbly. Her hands were already unrolling the bag of
scalpels and piles of bandages beside Mulder's arm as it lay on
the bed. Chest heaving in agony, Mulder was staring most
unhappily at her hands and the sharp implements she was prepping.
"Scuuuleee?"
"Sssshhhh. I'll get it out, Mulder, just hang in there. It's
going to be okay. Just need to get this stuff ready."
"You're not...Carving the Christmas goose, you know..."
he whimpered.
"Shut up, Mulder."
"There's no power," Skinner frowned, noting that her
voice held more confidence than her eyes. Both their eyes drew to
the fireplace in the bedroom. "Thought that was too much to
hope for. House and Cell phones don't work either. I guess it's a
universal constant that mountains equal, no damn signal."
"Figures. Do we have any wood? Can we light a fire? He
probably bled less because his body was chilled but he's
dangerously close to hypothermia.".
"Saw a load of logs out by the fire in the lounge. I'll get
both fires going. I'll check on the food situation too. Doubt we
will find anything befitting the festive season but there might
be something. Call me when you're ready for...." He couldn't
bear to look at Mulder's fearful expression just then.
"Firelighters are in my medical kit, sir. There are also
some candles. We're going to loose the light here soon and need
to see what I'm doing here."
"Well prepared, Agent. Back in two, and it's Walter, Scully.
Considering the circumstances and its Christmas, we can dispense
with standing on ceremony." He gave her a grim smile as he
left to get wood.
"Ho ho fucking ho." Mulder squeaked, grinding his fists
into the mattress. Scully leaned in pressing her lips to his
brow.
"Sorry baby. I'll make you feel better real soon okay?"
he looked unutterably miserable and sweat was pouring down his
face.
"Sculleeeee, it was our first Christmas...you know... I
wanted it to be perfect, now you can't even see your
family." He'd been secretly looking forward to some
judicious, eggnog induced Maggie Scully fussing. Not to mention a
yuletide nosh up par excellence, which had been hinted at during
previous family functions, after they safely offloaded Big
brother Bill, quite aside from some of the spicy suggestions
Scully herself had made for the season of all things merry. Bring
it on.
"Shhhh don't fret. I know sweetheart. But I'm here with you,
right where I want to be. I'm just glad you're alive. The only
thing I want from Santa is for you to be in a nice warm, hospital
bed, on plenty of joy drops that give you that goofy leer and
makes your hair stand up in that cute way, with your body free of
nasty foreign objects, okay? Besides," she grinned
suggestively, "You know you always get presents in
hospital."
Scully's fingers were running through his sweat soaked hair,
doing her best to soothe. His sighs were punctuated with gasps of
pain. Scully produced a stethoscope out of her bag of tricks; She
warmed it with a lingering kiss before placing it against the
bare skin of his chest, much to Mulder's wide eyed chagrin. The
tiniest smile wobbled at the corner of his lips at the gesture.
"Sure, I remember... when I was 7, I had my tonsils
out...and was in over...Christmas. The beastly Santa that came to
see us smelled suspiciously.... like..." Mulder audibly
groaned at the vivid image pulled from his eidetic memory.
"Formaldehyde and the combined jockstraps of
the...Washington Redskins and...gave me an 'Operation' game. Now
that was a...low blow, even for Santa. I never did feel the same
about Christmas after that." Mulder's shaky hand latched
onto Scully's nearest fingers and held tight. "Guess you
could always be my present and get in the bed with me. Disturb my
blood pressure a little. That new satin black teddy would be
nice... "
Scully's eyebrow did a Spock-esque manoeuvre. How he could manage
to leer like that through the excruciating pain he was in, was
anyone's guess.
"You're just plain disturbed period, Mulder. Nothing to joke
about when I've got my work cut out maintaining your pressure
now." She knew the frequency of his joking was testimony to
how scared he was. She rolled her eyes against the threatening
tears, moving her stethoscope over his heart, listening.
Blue eyes locked on hazel, little flecks still rose up as he
smiled weakly at her, like tiny little gold snowflakes. His pulse
was becoming increasingly rapid and frightening. She didn't think
he had any idea how serious this could get. He'd become blasé
about injuries over the years, his tendency to push himself
despite all, not withstanding.
"I know I wanted you studying my naked body on a cold winter
night, over some mulled wine and devilishly placed
mistletoe...But this wasn't quite what I had in mind. Chestnuts
roasting on an open fire. HUMBUG! ...Much as I love the guy,
Scully, Walter Skinner definitely wasn't in my plans. Talk about
a ménage et toi...I don't even want to think...about my blue
balls...Guess my new Wranglers are...ruined, huh?" He
wheezed. Scully tried hard not to smile. He was chattier than a
wind up "Love me doll" when he was using humor as a
pain diversion. Mulder's eyes wandered to the fireplace. "At
least there's somewhere to hang a stocking. Do you think Santa
will mind if its blood stained, and leave me some good pain
drugs?"
"Shhh, he'll hear you...."
"Who Santa? "
"No his Baldship next door, you crazy fool." She noted
with alarm that he was as ashen as the snowstorm outside.
"Baldship? Did you just say Baldship, Scully? Dear
diary...today my heart leapt when my sexy...red headed...goddess
called our...boss an inappropriate..."
"...I know I heard it!" She indicated the stethoscope
still attached to his chest. "Shut up Mulder, I heard your
heart leap. It isn't making pleasing sounds right now. Just focus
on breathing, will you?" He was deteriorating. It was time
for that chat soon. One he would hate.
Mulder eyes were full of pain and love. "Crazy for
you." the last coming out as a pained whisper. He was tiring
and she had to keep him awake. Where the hell was Skinner with
the wood? For the first time she felt her own fatigue creeping
in. She sighed, knowing there would be no rest when she had to
take care of Mulder, no matter how crappy she felt herself. She
wondered idly if His Baldship had found anything to sooth her
caffeine depletion. Mulder wasn't the only one who needed to stay
awake.
She didn't think the AD was in much better shape either.
Surviving a car crash didn't bring out the best in people as a
rule. Especially not on Christmas Eve, stuck in the middle of an
icy cabin with one of them bleeding like a stuck pig and needing
an orthopaedic surgeon's skills, stat. Not to mention, no way of
contacting or reaching civilization. Mulder was in grave risk of
infection and blood loss trauma. She also had no way of knowing
if the wire had cut through into his lungs, or worse his heart.
His ribs were definitely broken. At least two as best she could
tell. She was also worried about the black shadow that covered
half his forehead and God forbid... other internal injuries
sustained in the crash and subsequent time hurtling down a wooded
embankment.
Scully stroked the fine fair hairs on his arm, poking underneath
the blanket, before she donned the fresh rubber gloves she would
need for the procedure. She also produced a couple of lengths of
soft binding and a stitching kit.
Mulder's internal shit-hitting-the-fan radar was starting to
stoke up nicely. His eyes were little globes of pain blown up
into truly huge hazel saucers that made heart skip with empathy.
Oh Jesus. Mulder...
Mulder noted that Scully had the same strange constipated look on
her face that she reserved for telling him something he wasn't
going to like at all. Worse right now because he existed in a
winter wonderland of white-hot pain.
His eyes fell on the bindings she was absently screwing into her
palms, and then to her eyes, then back to the bindings. The penny
dropped as surely as his helpless body had, down the embankment
from hell.
OH FUCK.
"Please tell me you are going to knock me out for
this." Scully was shaking her head; his heart lurched
painfully, feeling the bite of metal scoring his ribs. He pulled
his best-beaten spaniel look that he'd thought worthy of an
Oscar. To his horror, a single tear slid like a dewdrop down her
face. It was then he noticed the blood at the edge of her hair
for the first time. He was gasping now. Suddenly he felt like
every, meal he'd ever consumed were fighting on mass for an
exodus up and out, of biblical proportions.
Scully watched his Adam's apple jump about like a Christmas
Robin. He lifted a shaky finger to her scalp touching her gently
where it hurt. His eyes full of pain.
"...Scully you're hurt. God...you're scaring me. Talk to me
partner." At least that's what he would of said if he
could've forced enough air over his vocal chords to form words;
instead several pitifully distressed squeaks were all he could
manage.
"You have a concussion, Mulder. I have very little equipment
up to a job such as this and I need to monitor you carefully. I
can't afford to suppress any symptoms you may have. I'm
sorry." Her hand folded over his and squeezed, he gave the
tiniest squeeze back. His eyes full of fearful terror and
misgiving of what she was proposing, and heart aching with worry
the way seeing blood on her, never failed to haunt him. Somehow
her image blurred for a few seconds, as his did for her.
"Can't you give it...a quick tug and get it free?" Even
to his own pain weakened voice that sounded a stupidly unfeasible
suggestion.
Predictably she shook her head again, just as Walter came back in
the room, with armfuls of wood. The warm blast of heat that
wafted in with him and the pleasant smell of burning pine logs
came as silent but welcome confirmation that he had finally got
the other fire going.
He repeated the ritual and brought the fire to life in the
bedroom hearth, then glanced tentatively at Mulder and Scully
before lighting a dozen or so candles, placing them all round the
room. Mulder swallowed, thinking if he weren't in pain, he could
appreciate that he was in some quaint fairy grotto. The warmth
and light from the roaring open fire adding to the effect that
was now serenely bouncing off of Skin man's chrome framed
glasses.
Yeah very frigging Christmassy, Walter. Nice effect.
Mulder idly wondered if in unlikely event of them getting a visit
from Ole Saint Nick, he would surely burn his ass on the flames
and curse Skinner to the Nine kingdoms. He digressed
uncomfortably, tuning out Scully's doctor jargon over his pain.
It was probably more likely they would find Krycek turning up to
screw thing up even more, adding his own evil brand of festive
jollies to the day's already disastrous proceedings. At least
they could hope he might utilize the chimney to make his grand
entrance. It would be worth the pain it would cause him to laugh
right now, to see that supercilious bastard's smugness wiped off
his face.
"You know I need to get this out. Its rusty and its sharp,
it has many barbs going in different directions. Thank God I
nagged you about keeping your tetanus shots up to date, but I
can't just yank it out. It's worked its way around inside like a
snake. I'm trying to get it out with minimum blood loss. You've
already lost enough as it is."
Scully was fiddling with some sort of oxygen mask, testing it. He
nodded, eyes forgiving but so scared. His vivid imagination
helpfully supplying new depths of agony, picturing what she'd
have to do to extricate this thing invading his chest, on top of
the crippling pain he was already suffering.
"...Hold you down while I debride the wound and stitch...
Mulder are you listening to me? Dammit this is important."
His eyes and ears were too busy elsewhere. He looked pointedly at
the way she was fastening the thick lengths of surgical webbing,
first to one, then his other wrist. She pulled them as tight as
she could without cutting off his circulation. If he hadn't had
been trying not to hyperventilate, he would have laughed. The
fire, the candles, Scully tying up his wrists, as he lay there
naked. It was curiously kinky like something from one of those
videos that weren't his. Mulder's lungs tied themselves in
painful heaving knots the moment Skinner moved ominously back
into view. Close enough to profile what aftershave he used.
NONONONONONO...
The AD for some uncomfortable reason of his own, gave him a
rueful smile.
"You look a bit like Carmen Miranda with your head in that
blanket, Mulder. "
Was that supposed to distract him? How humorous. Boy, he was
dating himself with that wiseass crack, Mulder thought madly. The
absurdity not lost on him, despite the waves of sheer fright and
agony pouring over him like grim death.
One day in the fullness of time my esteemed boss, I may find you
blindingly funny. Not today. All I want to do now, in the midst
of this, in the midst of watching you and Scully grab an arm each
and begin binding each wrist to the head rail of the bed, all I
feel like doing is letting a really loud girlie scream rip your
eardrums to sheds.
"With or without the bananas?" Did that idiotic comment
come from his mouth?
Scully was giving him an apologetic look again, this time with
eyebrow.
OHGODOHGODOHGOD!
It was the bondage nightmare from hell. He'd seen this one of the
Sci-Fi channel. "Talons of Wang Chang".."Fu
Manchu" or whatever the hell crappy torture flick, he and
Scully had snuggled into watch on a Friday night, after a hard
weeks slog over pizza and beer.
His stomach suddenly did an unnatural roll and without ceremony,
he lurched over the AD's side of the bed and blew chunks all over
his patent $200 Italian mules.
Merry Christmas sir.
"Awww Jesus!!!" choked Skinner as he lamely attempted
to shift his burly self out the firing line, but to no avail.
The gift that goes on giving, Mulder thought breathlessly as his
stomach contents rebelled again, This time getting Walter S's
dress pants. He shoots he scores. Howzat for a bonus?
"Bucket coming, Mulder." Scully sympathetically cooed
in his ear. Something that looked like a waste paper bin suddenly
became clear and present through the spots dancing before his
eyes. Twisting against his bonds felt horrible as his poor
insides tried for a hat trick, this time actually hitting the
object Scully held under his chin.
JESUS THAT HURT!!!
He felt like the spiky monster had dug in even deeper during his
body's haste to disgorge itself. Breathe, breathe, breathe, went
over and over in his head like a mantra. Still, he'd solved the
mystery of what he could get his AD for Christmas, should he
actually survive this.
"Scullee, don't do this please." He beseeched into warm
fingers that were bathing his sweaty face. She caught his eyes
with her own, their beautiful blue depths communicating, regret,
compassion, and empathy and above all love.
She knew how much he hated this loss of control. Skinner large
hands were sliding around his collarbone from the right, gently
pressing down, and his left hand held fast to his upper left
chest, centering over his sternum. Mulder was shocked realizing
that he was stuck fast.
"Mulder listen to me. I need you to keep very still for
this. I don't want to hurt or injure you any more than I have to.
If you squirm around..."
"Don't tie me or hold me down... I can do still. VERY STILL.
I could earn big bucks as a store dummy... even have the clothes
for it."
His voice, though emphatic, was barely a scared whisper that he
hated himself for. Scully stroked his hair from his face, his
lover, gently morphing into cool controlled Doctor Scully right
before his eyes. The transition made him want to cry. He blinked
back-threatened tears, looking off to the side and catching the
AD's apologetically serious look. He must have been burning some
real calories maintaining that expression.
"You're gonna just love this aren't you?...It's your revenge
for all those...expense reports you had to chew over...and could
never make sense of..." Walter's mouth crinkled sheepishly.
He looked distinctly like he was suppressing the urge to fart or
puke. Neither option was a comfort. Slowly he found Scully's eyes
again. "Any other time this might have an anomalous appeal,
Scully...please?"
Out of all his known panic faces, this was definitely a new one.
"No, G-Man, this is going to be a bitch to get out. These
things will cut through you like butter if I slip or you jog me.
I need to gently prize the barbs away one at a time. For that I
have to cut around, and then lift individual pieces. Its not just
one strait piece of wire, its wound treble. It's going to be
tricky enough to cut this out of you without cutting my own
fingers to ribbons. I have clippers to cut each piece I free.
With the best will power in the world, Mulder, you won't be able
to cope with that. Youre not superhuman and this is going
to hurt like the devil as it is. I can't give you anything but
oxygen, so we need to hold you down. You're also getting a fever,
so I want to get this done as expediently and as cleanly as
possible. Left to your own devices, you wont be able to withstand
what I'm going to have to do to you, even though I know you'd try
your best to keep still. In no time you'd be wriggling like soapy
frogs in a bucket."
The word bucket made Mulder's stomach twinge horribly and brought
with it an unbidden image of Skinner's puke soaked mules. It was
all he could do to stop the mad laughter that stuck in his
throat. Scully pushed all the blankets away from his torso.
Despite that warmth from the fire, it was still freezing, or was
that just fear?
"Its going to get a lot worse before it gets better partner,
so if Walter's ready we can get started. The sooner this thing is
out the better." Mulder hissed as he felt the bite of cold
iodine wash on his chest and all around the wound. Eyes blanching
at the sight of the industrial strength wire cutters that also
appeared by her instrument collection. Skinner held on tighter.
Perhaps Dear Walter could go do something else... like go find
the previous occupants porn collection. That way he'd have
something to read while he convalesced.
"Okay Scully, perhaps.... when you're done, I can put it on
my.... wall as a piece of...Modern art." He spluttered,
voice tiny in defeat. Trying hard not to think about sharp
scalpels pulling his flesh apart.
"It would certainly be a conversation piece, Mulder."
She smiled kindly popping an oxygen mask over his face.
"There isn't much of this so its just short blasts to take
the edge off. Deep breathes. You know the drill."
Mulder sucked in the oxygen until he felt light-headed, and she
removed it again. He did know the drill all right, but that
normally entailed some nice liquid bliss to knock him out, before
people started slicing and dicing. Neither did he like to dwell
on the fact that Scully was used to using her deft cutting skills
on the grateful dead.
Having meatball surgery on Hicksville Mountain without being
nicely anaesthetized, when he would rather be creatively
expressing himself with Scully some place cozy, was not his idea
of Christmas Nirvana. Shit. His face became a mask of
impassiveness but his eyes were windows to primal fear.
"Scully? Is this the part where you tell me to lie back and
think big beautiful, Christmas thoughts and if I'm a good boy,
you'll give me a Popsicle after?"
"Think big beautiful, Christmas thoughts, Mulder." She
gave him her best kilowatt smile. " I don't know about a
Popsicle, you can have a little sterile water for
breakfast." He watched her take a shuddering breath.
"Showtime?"
"Afraid so, G-man" She tried to access his readiness
for this, scalpel poised above the jagged wound, too aware that
her head felt two sizes too large and her hands were shaking.
This was by far the most harrowing thing she'd ever had to do
him. No way could she fail. His screams were going to tear her up
as surely as that hideous nemesis embedded in his chest was doing
to him. She cursed litterbugs to hell for all eternity. Deep
breath, she inwardly commanded herself.
"..Scully?"
"Yeah, Mulder"
"I just want to make this crystal...clear that I
hate...this."
"I know baby," her fingers worrying his hair again.
Scully tried to look at his face and not at Skinner holding
Mulder's heaving chest in an iron grip. A myriad of unspoken
emotions flashed between them when their eyes locked again.
'I trust you, I need you, I love you...please help me...'
Those came through louder and clearer than all the others
combined. Despite the AD's presence, Scully leaned over, lifted
the mask and captured Mulder's trembling lips with her own. Her
smiling eyes reached right into his heart. It was all he needed
to know. Something inside him tumbled at an odd angle, making his
gasp. Hazel depths of hurt caught her eyes in silent
communication again.
'I love you.'
'I know.'
It was an old joke between them. In the many faces of their
perils or fears, he was always Harrison Ford to her Carrie
Fisher.
"Why, Doctor Scully....I do believe...you...are getting
emotionally involved with your patient." Mulder's quip had
Skinner trying hard not to smirk; instead he seemed to be finding
the patterns in the flames most interesting.
"I've got a gag if it will help, might take the edge
off," Skinner offered quietly. A hand with the gag appeared
in front of his face. "Open wide and say aahhh,
Mulder," he added gruffly.
When the AD went hunting for wood, he'd picked up a chubby
branch, and anticipated it might be useful; cutting it down into
something that Mulder could bite on. His Agent frowned at him and
looked at it. What a cool idea, he mused, thinking it might be a
better alternative to gnawing off Skinner's arm while he shrieked
like a banshee.
"Hey, it's the thought that counts, son."
"Just don't kiss me, Walter, once you've shut me up."
"No kiss...but I'll just savor the moment."
Mulder grinned stupidly at him and duly obeyed, clamping his
teeth down on the firm dowel, the bitter pinesap tastes almost
making him gag. His eyes shifted between Scully, who's mouth
turned up in a sad smile, and his boss, before fixing them to a
stain on the ceiling.
Somehow he realized that immersing his brain in the intricacies
of the latest LGM conspiracy theory just wasn't going to cut it
for this. Sorry guys.
Calling on Hypnosis 101, what there was of it left from his
psychology training, Mulder forced his breathing under control,
and took himself off to a little safe place in his brain, like a
rabbit down a hole, where he hoped this wouldn't touch him. Much.
Bloody crescents formed as his fists dug fingers deeply into his
palms. He bit down so hard his jaws trembled.
It was far worse than Scully could have ever thought possible.
The gag lasted all of two minutes after she made the first
incision to remove the wire. Mulder's face was portrait of agony,
as all became too much for him, the gag went flying across the
room like a dart and he howled for the first time like all the
devils in hell, nearly bursting all their eardrums.
Finally his screams exhausted down into wracking sobs he couldn't
stop. The agent's traumatized heart was pounding so hard against
Skinner's palms it was painful. If it was possible, Skinner held
him tighter, muttering any comforting assurances he could muster.
Visions of dying soldiers shattered by grenades or bullets, bled
into the PTSD he still suffered from time to time and
fast-forwarded in Mulder's bugged out eyes, liquidized pools of
pain as he fought for breath.
Restraining Mulder like this took him back to another time. One
he didn't want to revisit.
At some point, Mulder had bitten right through his bottom lip and
the smell of blood pervaded the whole room. It was slick all over
the bed on Scully's side. On her hands. Skinner didn't have to
look at Scully who was trying fight back floods of tears that
threatened to block the vision of her scalpel, deep inside
Mulder's open chest.
It was constant cut, pare and lift, cut, pare and lift, a
laboriously slow and hideous procedure that threatened to kill
Mulder from shock as much as anything else. To cap it all, it was
soon apparent that the center of the wire had pushed through
between his broken ribs and had narrowly missed the lungs and
main arteries to the heart, and indeed his heart itself. It was
hairsbreadths from touching it, or maybe it had even grazed it,
she couldn't be 100% sure without an ultrasound, so she had to be
ruthless and quick to get that out of his chest without him
nudging it in any further and killing him.
Mulder regularly drifted in and out of oblivion when the pain
became too acute, despite her worry that he should be awake, she
managed to work better while he was out of it. She was glad he
had some respite if only for a little while. When he was awake he
was almost delirious with pain.
An hour later and she was still trying to get the last of it free
with the tweezers. It was too blood slick and awkward to snag and
it kept slipping away. She cursed over and over as it seemed to
push back in deeper each time with each attempt; each spasming
breath Mulder lungs took. She had a job to tamp down the panic
that she'd never get it out. No. She had to. Failure wasn't in
her vocabulary.
Shit. Fuck
Ahab's daughter had long since replaced the cool Dr Scully, FBI
agent.
Mulder was screaming in earnest now, punctuated by long streams
of creative obscenities that Scully knew would have made her
father blush, and more than one plea for her to shoot him. Wrists
raw from twisting them within his bonds, he was keeping still,
some how, even though the urge to arch off the bed was so acute,
he kept graying out.
"Sculleeeee!...Hurts...OH GOD!"
Scully never wanted to hear her name cried out that way ever
again. It was hard to concentrate through his deafening wail. He
could no more help it than he could draw breath; raw instinct had
him shaking beneath her like an earthquake. She was gasping for
air herself as she narrowly avoided stabbing his lung with the
scalpel, the terror of that close call, had her desperately
trying to still her hand, she gasped with the shock of what she'd
almost done, feeling tremors all up her arm.
She was hurting him and he was crying for her stop but she had to
keep going. She was pleading with God now, praying, willing
Mulder's frantic heart to hold out and for the strength for all
of them to make it through this. She was dead on her feet and her
knees were numb from kneeling for hours by his bed. Mulder
shuddered in his personal hell, almost jolting her arm again.
"Keep him still! For Gods sake, keep him still!" Scully
railed as she fought for her own control and sanity. "I'm
almost there now, Mulder. I'm almost there..." she sighed,
sniffing back tears, exhaustion creeping in fast. "Just hang
on for me baby. Hang on."
Skinner forced eye contact with Mulder and grabbed his sweat
soaked face. Mulder tried to pull away, half crazy with pain, the
AD terrified that he'd hare out when they were so close to
getting this over with. Fear made him ruthless with the younger
man.
"Mulder, c'mon now look at me, son, look at me and
focus!" he barked in his best AD voice of authority. It was
a long shot this would work with Mulder's but it was worth a go,
if he could calm his subordinate.
"Nnnggaaa...get off me you...son of a...bitch!"
Skinner grabbed his chin again and forced him to look in his
eyes. "Agent Mulder, look at me now. Focus on my face. I'm
not taking no for an answer. Come on you can do this. Scully's
almost through, Just hold on, okay son? Keep it together...Just a
few more moments... You can't pass out Agent, that's an order.
God help me, I'll take the price of those mules out of your
paycheck if you do. Focus and breathe, come on just breathe,
think of nothing else. I got you. She's almost finished, just a
few moments then you can rest. Just let her finish, its going to
be okay. Just keep still. You can scream at me, rail at me if it
helps. I know your hurting, Mulder, but just keep still. Okay.
Sorry son, its got to come out, just hold on okay? You're doing
so great. We're almost there."
Mulder's screams tore from his throat like an unstoppable
maelstrom of raw pain, the intensity of which chilled Skinner to
the core.
"No!! lemme go...Scullleee!!" He cried out like a
skinned animal and Scully hated herself all over again.
"Mulder. You're doing great honey, just hang in there I'm
almost done. I can see it now, just a little more, just a
little...okay, okay ...I got it, pulling it out now. Its
coming.... easy Mulder, easy. Don't move, don't even breath, I
don't want to drop this..." Scully was holding her breath
along with Mulder and the AD. Suddenly the offending final piece
of wire eased out of the wound, tightly gripped in the tweezers.
"There its is. There you are you ugly fucker! Oh my
god..." Scully dropped it all in a large dish and blew out
that breath she'd been holding. "I got it... Jesus. I got
the fucker. Mulder?"
She held it up jubilantly again with the tweezers so he could see
it. Tears streamed down his face and he nodded, relief pouring
off him in waves, Still fighting for breath, he felt her hands in
his hair now, stroking, soothing over and over and kissing him.
Blood all over both of them, his face and hair. God she couldn't
stop kissing him.
"God Mulder, its okay now, its going to be okay. Just rest
for a little while, G-man. You've earned it. You're okay, Mulder.
Just a few things to take care of and you'll be more comfortable
in a bit, I promise. He's okay," she grinned breathlessly at
their boss who was still holding his agent for dear life, sweat
pouring off his face.
Finally he let go as Scully stood and stretched her stiff neck
and back with a pleasing crack of relief. It had taken close to
two hours, Mulder admirably holding himself awake for part of the
time, for some of it he'd been almost catatonic, hiding himself
away in a little portion of his mind, detached from the trauma
his physical self was undergoing.
Must have taken a Herculean effort until the pain just became too
much. The last few moments when he'd been lucid again had been
the worst she could've imagined; Scully's eyes fell on Mulder's
blood soaked chest still heaving for breath, more blood running
down his side into the bed, reminding her that she still had to
clean and stitch him. He'd need internal stitches too. Oh God.
She was so tired. She guessed they all were.
"How is he doing, Scully?"
Skinner was standing and straitening his own back while he
watched her moving the stethoscope against Mulder's chest again,
listening intently. The younger man still heaved for breath,
bound arms so still now after so much struggling, his eyes
looking lovingly at Scully. The AD winced, his wrists looked
chaffed and raw, a testament to how powerful and desperate his
pain had made him. Scully flicked her eyes up to his momentarily.
"Hanging in there. Just so glad we got it all out of him.
Just taking 5 sir, before..."
Skinner gave her a wan smile watching the shadows from the fire
and candle light dance over her face. They both felt good that
Mulder was calm again but he balked at the thought that the poor
guy still needed stitching up and any rest he was having was
going to be short-lived, until Scully finished. Hell, they all
needed a break before the inevitable second stage of purgatory
began again. He wasn't sure he could take much more, let alone
the nightmare Mulder was going through.
A lesser man would have crumbled but Mulder had held himself
admirably, facing down the entire trauma, only haring out
completely when his considerable pain threshold finally gave up
and disintegrated. He had to admit he had a new found respect for
Mulder, seeing such fortitude in his agent, but at the same time,
it left him feeling that Mulder was spookier than ever.
All his own years in the hell of Vietnam, he'd never see anyone
so strong in the face of such torment and pain, Mulder had more
courage than he previously given him credit for and that had
always been considerable.
"Erratic heartbeat still but that's to be expected."
Scully was saying. "His lungs are okay but a little wet
sounding. I need to sort out his leg and bind his ribs. He should
feel much more comfortable then, until we can get him to a
hospital." When, she left unsaid, her free hand continuously
stroking Mulder's hair while she took his vitals. "There's a
lot of deep soft tissue and muscle damage to his chest and some
broken ribs. Nothing major compromised, thank god, but infection
and pneumonia are still something we have to be vigilant about.
I'm going to need some more pillows or blankets to prop him up
with. I have to watch him very closely."
"I can watch him if you want to sleep tonight. You're hurt
yourself, Dana and you're dead on your feet. I can
always..."
"No." she cut him off, eyes flashing protectively in
Mulder's direction. "With due respect, Walter, he needs my
trained medical eye, if he deteriorates in the night with shock
or infection then its best I spot it as quickly as I can and deal
with it. I'll crash later but right now..." Her eyes fell
lovingly on her patient's sleepy face. "I'm not going to be
able to sleep with him like this anyway. I could use some coffee
though. Please tell me you found some somewhere out there."
Her eyes glittered hopefully despite her tired pale face.
"I found something, if you can call it coffee. There's some
tinned food, some of it is well...odd. But I'll see if I can come
up with something. Necessity is the mother of invention. I
thought I saw some camping equipment in one of the kitchen
closets. Might be able to boil up some water on a stove or
something. Failing that, the fireplace has a hook where I can
hang the kettle. I should have done it before but there was too
much going on with Mulder. I'm going to get that started and then
get some air."
"I'll love you forever if you bring me coffee sir ...I mean,
Walter. I'm going to need warm water to bathe him with...and some
ice or something for his head...and mine."
"Hey, she's spoken for..." Mulder's voice, strained and
wheezy from screaming, startled them both. He'd appeared to be
asleep. Both Skinner and Scully stifled a laugh, Scully gently
ruffling Mulder's hair.
"Better believe it Mister," she whispered to only to
him and smiled at his sleepy eyes, before turning to her boss.
"Take a break, Walter. I think you've earned it. Beyond the
call of duty and all that. Mulder and I will be okay alone for a
few minutes."
"I'll be back shortly with the water....er, I was going to
hike back to the car, I'll see if I can salvage anything else
useful, or try and flag down someone who can get us help or back
to civilization. The storms worse though. I'll go first light, it
will be easier and safer. Don't expect anyone will be fool enough
to be driving out tonight, but in the morning I might find other
cabins with phones or power. I suspect now a search will have got
underway, but hell its Christmas, and they'll be less manpower
out looking. I think most people will be at home with their
families."
Scully nodded, a sad wistful expression on her face. At least
Mulder was alive, probably the best present she could have hoped
for under the circumstances. They had each other. Tonight that
was enough.
"I'm just grateful for this cabin. If this hadn't been so
close by..."
Skinner nodded, sucking in a tired breath.
"I think this was a our Christmas gift, Scully. A place of
shelter and safety, even if it is lacking in more modern
conveniences. "
"A true miracle sir, our lives and this place. Just here
when we needed it the most. The fire and the candles, its not
home, but it is Christmassy. Really pretty, Walter. Thank you. If
Mulder wasn't...if he...hadn't.." several lumps got caught
in her throat and Scully prayed she wouldn't embarrass herself.
The days events were catching up with her, adrenalin fading fast
and all the unshed tears threatened to run down her face like an
avalanche of fear, relief and stress of the close call they had
all just come through.
Mulder wasn't out of the woods yet and that terrified her more
than anything. She sent up a silent prayer of thanks for her
strength that had seen her through these last desperate hours,
for Mulder to be out of pain and her faith that they could all be
at home very soon with their families, choking back the silent
sob that formed over her heart with the unbidden image of her
mother's worried face that her only surviving daughter and
partner again were missing, when they should have been
celebrating the joy of Christmas, instead ruining the occasion
with worry and dread for that knock on the door. "...This
would have been perfect" she barely whispered.
"I'll get that coffee. Holler if you need me, Dana."
Scully sniffed, and forced a smile. "..Yeah."
Skinner locked eyes with her for a second or two longer than he
intended. Wanting to tell her that she and Mulder felt like the
only family he'd had in a while now. His jaw muscle twitched
under the urge to impart that to her, but part of him thought
better of it. He left them to their privacy.
Scully rechecked his dressing and the open wound underneath, then
scooted up the bed, taking care not to jolt him. Mulder felt her
hair tickle his face. One warm arm slid ever so carefully around
and under his back so his head rested against her shoulder while
her other hand worked at the knots binding his wrists.
He leaned into her warmth as she undid them one at a time,
releasing them with great tenderness, pressing warm lips to the
poor tortured skin on each with barest pressure in a gesture that
shouted 'I'm sorry.' Pain still held him in a vice like grip but
it seemed less now. He was sweat drenched and frightened, his
chest tight and throbbing but the depth of love in Scully eyes as
she looked at him, made up for all that.
"Hey, G-man, you with me, you okay?" Lips against his
sweat drenched forehead, warm breath and a feeling of her pushing
his hair back. "Your poor head. We'll get some ice on
that."
"...Yeah. " A faint smile on the corner of his lips. A
pale shadow of his usual goofy morning grin.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry I had to put you through
that." Any more stroking and he'd purr like a cat, despite
the agony.
"S'alright, Scully. Had to be done.... Was I a complete
asshole?"
"You don't remember any of that, do you?"
"Thankfully not much, although...Scully, did I puke on
Skinner? Please tell me I didn't...It's vague. I..."
"I think you owe him a new pair of loafers and suit pants.
Don't worry; I guess he'll think of a good penance." She
couldn't quite hide the amusement in her voice as her lips
brushed his temple again. "And you asked me to shoot you
once or twice." Mulder closed his eyes in a painful grimace,
knowing he'd put her through hell. Again. When was she going to
get a break with him? When he looked in her eyes again, he could
see the unshed tears that refused to fall and felt like seven
kinds of heel.
"...And you're hurt, Scully. Are you okay? " His
fingers shakily reached out for hers, they met, joined and
entwined.
"I'm fine Mulder." Her eyes softened at the crease of
worry on his face, she kissed his shoulder and put her forehead
to his. "Really. I'm tired, but I'm okay. You came off worse
than all of us put together...um..."
Mulder's heartbeat began to thump unhappily at something in her
hesitation to go on. She was playing with the hair at the nape of
his neck. Nervous breathe in his ear. Suddenly he felt his brain
catch up.
NO.
"You're not finished?.... Scully....?" he felt her long
sigh against his face.
"No, No I'm not, sweetheart. Here's the deal..." She
felt a tightening in her stomach as she watched the fresh anxiety
pass like dull clouds over his eyes. Her arms tightened around
him as if trying to soften the blow he knew was coming. He wanted
nothing more at his point to disappear into her skin and never
venture out again, heart pounding so fast, it made him
light-headed and sick. Despite the warmth of her body so close to
him, ice ran riot in his veins. "Mulder, honey, I'm sorry. I
know you're hurting, but I'm going need to bathe you and clean
you up a little, then I need to do a bit of needlecraft on that
wound. Walter should be back with warm water shortly then I can
start. Just rest up a little, I'm so sorry, we all needed to
catch our breath. God this is so hard..."
Mulder felt the first warm tears fall on his bare shoulder. She
startled when she found his fingers worrying her cheeks, trying
to catch them before they fell. Several more streamed down her
face at the unconditional forgiveness in his eyes, the tiny smile
of affection that meant more to her than anything right now. She
was going to have to cause him pain again, and he was giving her
permission in that gentle beautiful face. She couldn't have loved
him more at that moment.
"You untied my arms, I...I..."
"I can't see...that again, Mulder. Seeing you like that...I
know...I know you shouldn't be unconscious, god knows this goes
against all I was trained for, all of this.... But I....since you
were passing in and out while I was removing the wire, I
guess.... it's a moot point. If you feel you can't...then you can
let go. Do what you need to get through this, even if it means
you pass out." She couldn't finish. His fingers stroked
hers, brought them slowly to his lips and kissed them.
"Shhh, its okay. I'll be fine. Just hope your
needlework's better than your cooking." He caught her eyes
with a hint of a smile. He felt exhausted, nauseous and not ready
face this again, he shuddered at the thought of more pain, but he
could see what this was doing to her, ripping her soul apart. She
sniffed back her tears and wiped her eyes.
"I'll remember that while I'm tiptoeing across your
pectorals. Besides, you said you liked my cooking." Fever
filled eyes beamed at her, then closed. He wasn't going to stay
the course. Not this time. She squeezed his hand. "I'll be
as quick as I can and very very gentle okay?" he nodded
almost imperceptibly into the warm haven of her shoulder. If they
got out of this, he'd make Christmas up to her and make it one to
remember.
"Love you Scully." He was crying in earnest now. Fear
warring with his concern for her.
"Love you too, so much...I'm sorry. Make it up to you soon,
G-man." She kissed both his eyelids and rubbed his cheek. He
nodded, eyes closed, mentally calling on all his strength to stop
himself flying apart.
Walter soon returned with ice and warm water. Mulder finally let
oblivion take him just as his tortured brain cells registered the
smell of coffee. He never even stirred by the time Scully
inserted the first needle through his devastated flesh and lay
deathly pale and still, 200 or so inner, and outer stitches
later.
They couldn't wake him. They didn't have the heart, to try. They
let him be and felt some kind of comfort at least that he wasn't
awake for this. The rattle increasing in his lungs was
frightening confirmation that he had contracted pneumonia, his
struggles for breath and fever burning brightly hours later,
turning his skin to a furnace. Her fear for his life increased
ten fold. Without proper antibiotics and more surgery....
Scully cried again as she worked while Skinner kept her supplied
with coffee and much needed moral support. A joke when things got
too hard to see what she was doing in front of her, to bring her
back, a comforting warm hand on her shoulder to let her know that
she wasn't in this alone. In the space of a tragic few short
hours her boss had been replaced but a welcome but unexpected
friend. She thanked God again for the 100th time that night.
Somehow Scully held herself up long enough to bathe Mulder,
stitch and strap up both ribs and ankle. Mulder stirred in fever
dreams, soft flickers from the fire giving him a child like,
peaceful look, so different from one convulsed in such pain
earlier.
Sometime after 2am, Scully finally succumbed to her exhaustion,
watched over by the concerned brown eyes of Walter Skinner as he
sat vigil beside his two agents; holding the hand of one as she
slept, tucked up beside Mulder on the bed, and gently bathing the
fever from the other's face, with cool water. They looked like a
couple of kids, instead of two FBI agents.
He glanced at his watch and pulled his lips into a tight sad
smile, as he went back to the vital task of bathing his injured
agent.
Merry Christmas, Fox and Dana.
Eventually the cabin in the mountains fell as silent as the snow
falling outside, except for the crack popping of the waning fire
and the occasional murmurs of pain from Mulder as he fought
demons in his troubled sleep. None of them saw the door slowly
open, the multi-colored lights that bounced off the cabin windows
and the light flurries of blizzard flakes swirling through to the
living room and around the night visitor as he made his entrance
from the wintry night, patting the snow from clothes and beard,
the thud of his boots as he stamped off the snow.
"Oh my," he chuckled to himself gruffly, peeping round
the door to the bedroom. Eyes twinkling like candle flickers.
The old man sucked on his beloved pipe, savoring the rich aroma
as he took in his unexpected guests. A bald man with glasses,
kind of authoritarian looking, stocky. A petite red headed
beauty, who on closer inspection had her arm possessively around
the waist of the younger, dark haired man in the bed covered only
by blankets. He looked like a boy, eyes closed tight against
unknown pain, dark lashes forming crescent smudges under his
eyes.
"Tsk tsk tsk." The sound almost silent like falling
flakes, muffled by his substantial beard. Oh dear.
As he moved closer still, he peered right down into his face,
noting the sweat soaked hair, feeling heat, distress, watching
intently as soft moans spilled from his lips. The sweat that
poured down his face and gave the young man's chest a glowing
sheen in the dying candlelight, spoke of acute sickness.
His chest rose and fell in erratic, painful looking spasms and he
could see his pulse jumping in his pale neck like it wanted to
escape. There was something in the air tonight beside the smell
of candle wax, the ever-pleasing aroma of burning logs. He
sniffed the air, Blood tainted through all the other smells and
his eyes fell back to the young man, sorrow in his gaze.
Then his eyes fell on the dressings and various blood stained
blankets at his feet and around the bed. The man's huge girth
swelled with empathy.
Poor handsome Laddie, you've had a rough night haven't you.
He slowly put a finger out to touch him, and then withdrew as if
burned. He was close enough to hear the frantic beat of his
heart. Pursing his lips, he closed his eyes for a second,
listening to the sounds of life now filling the cabin, this
troubled room, before shaking his head. Slowly and silently he
closed the door leaving them all to their sleep. It had been a
long night.
An old man sat by the fire in his favorite chair, smoking a pipe
and rocking gently while the blizzard outside raged against the
Blue Mountains, thinking it was good to be home, but he was
deeply troubled; his thoughts returning time after time to the
sick man who burned in fitful sleep in his bed tonight.
So long since anyone had come to call, so long since anyone had
really needed him. Not his family, he had trouble picturing them
now. Not The Great Malls of America, too old they'd said, too
eccentric. Too generous and not enough profit. They'd let him go
with a kindly but insincere handshake, after all those years of
faithful service. It was his joy to give, much better than
receiving and he was so lonely. This was the worse time of year
to be alone, even for him. He'd come home to lick his wounds.
He missed the children, their laughter, their joy & honesty,
their ability to see magic in every living thing, uncomplicated
by the doubts and skepticism that the passage of time brought to
their hearts too soon. They'd made him soar and gave him a chance
to fly. He was old, old and obsolete like many of his
predecessors before him. The children believed in him once too,
that made him picture the face of the young man, the face of a
believer, of magical things. The others and the tell tale signs
of exhaustion and struggle etched in their faces, the real
powerful magic that was the love that bound the trio together,
that made them fight for his life. To give their all for the one
who had fallen.
The old man scratched his craggy white beard. That young man in
his room needed him. It hit him like the light from the brightest
star in the galaxy. He had so few gifts left before..
But this, this he could give, some how he just knew that this was
right. For the first time in many years he let the warmth from
the fire seep into his tired old bones as he rose from his
favorite old chair, his only friend for a long time. With renewed
purpose he moved silently back to the bedroom, the lines and
crinkles of too many unkind years melting from his face like snow
flakes, his eyes shone and cheeks glowed beneath his mane of
white beard for the first time in as long as he could remember.
No worthier souls than these.
Something cool and wet eased across the fire of his forehead,
rousing him finally from his fevered dreams. He opened his eyes,
expecting to find Scully's loving hands bathing him with ice
water but the ones he was seeing were rough and calloused. He and
delirium were old buddies and deep down he knew he had to be it
its grip, but never before had he woken like this to find Scully
at least 300 pounds overweight and sporting a craggy white beard
and nose hair. His mouth opened in hazy wonder and somewhere
along the way he thought he'd pass out again. He squinted in the
flickering flame light, a grin slowly spreading until it blew up
a riot in his eyes.
"Aren't you Kenny Rodgers?" Mulder's midnight Samaritan
grinned wickedly and put a finger to his lips.
"Shhhhhhhh ..."
"...Who are you?"
Kenny, or whoever he was, now seemed to be bathed in his own
multi colored light source that spread to envelop Mulder with
tiny warm pinpricks all over his body that seemed to reach right
inside him, easing the pain, the fire of infection, the thunder
in his head.
"Do you believe, son? I feel it strong inside you. Don't
ever let that go. "
"I....I.....want to ..." he was too hypnotized by the
sights and sensations that held him in a some kind of suspension
and were physically healing him from the inside out, to form any
kind of coherent sentence. It was the most amazing feeling he
could ever remember. Like love, like pure energy, so intense he
wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. He nodded finally;
feeling dizzy as this light entity surrounded and engulfed him,
bathed him in some kind of microcosm of pure peace and
contentment. The last thing that registered before his heavy
eyelids closed was a soothing voice full of joyful laughter.
"Believe..."
"...When you were seven, Fox Mulder....that was an
imposter...I'm the real deal."
"What...?"
SNICK
"Get way from him, NOW"
Scully pointed her Sig at the beefy old guy hovering over
Mulder's body. Wide eyed and voice shaky from disturbed sleep and
fright, she became the epitome of a professional FBI agent.
Skinner by her side in an instant, following suit with his own
sig. The old guy smiled, a gentle smile on his face a thousand
years old. The bubble that held Mulder grew outwards to envelope
them both and the last thing they remembered was the soft
laughter and sound of snow falling against the window. A far away
voice echoed all around them.
"Merry Christmas... It's a time for miracles...choose your
dearest wish...Its magic if you believe...."
Mulder rolled over, feeling another warm body, he leaned into it,
stretching and spooning with a contented sigh. Strawberry shampoo
reached into his lungs as he buried his nose in her hair and
breathed her in. A smile crept over his face as he snuggled to
enjoy the contact with her skin and slid an arm around her waist.
She stirred just a little leaning back into him and making that
little noise that drove him crazy. Mulder's tongue made tentative
little swirls over her earlobe, delighted when she shuddered. So
content, he could stay here all day just basking in this love so
new and largely unexplored.
Tap tap tap There it was again. He wasn't imagining it.
One eye opened lazily at the shy knock on the door. It opened
just a crack to reveal the delightedly grinning countenance of
Margaret Scully. She was bouncing in the doorway like an overly
excited Doberman, Bill's baby son, Matthew bouncing along with
her on her arm, wearing a funny little Santa hat with a glowing
bobble on top, Charlie's four year old daughter Lauren, hiding
halfway behind her legs hugging what looked like an new dolly.
Scully, now wide awake, emerged from the warm cocoon, otherwise
known as Mulder and peered, nonchalantly over the covers, pulled
up tight to hide both their present nakedness. She practiced
grinning innocently like the good catholic daughter she was,
despite their current dubious positions, not that her mother
noticed one iota in her current state of Christmassy exuberance.
Mulder got a sudden urge to poke his head down the blanket and
study his chest. He noticed Scully looking too. A few seconds
later he shrugged.
Scully glanced at him, faint smile on her lips. She could almost
hear Mulder's considerable brain going through its machinations,
trying to equate this scenario coupled with fragments of
screeching tires, copious blood, Mulderscreams and a laughing old
man. It tickled the parts of their consciousness that they
couldn't quite fathom, no matter how they tried to work it out.
"Dana, Fox, Merry Christmas. Darlings what a wonderful
surprise. I never heard you come in. I'm so pleased you decided
to come early. Come on, we're just about to open the
presents." She bounced a bit more. If that was possible
"So sneaky of you. Not that I mind of course. Just so happy
you decide to share your first Christmas with us all as a family.
I've warned Bill, that under pain of death he will have to
behave. I've even invited that lovely boss of yours, Mr. Skinner.
Can't have that lovely man lonely at Christmas can we? Hope you
don't mind. Ooh, this is going to be as the best Christmas
ever."
The door snicked shut and soon the sound of Christmas carols
wafted up from downstairs along with various pleasing smells of
Christmas dinner, "...Ah, Scully?"
Blue eyes met hazel in joint utter stupefaction. Mulder was
grinning, not uncharacteristically like an idiot. Scully shook
her head, her smile lightening his heart. She looked as confused
as he was. He shrugged, the movement baring his deliciously
inviting chest. She couldn't pull her eyes away.
"Do you believe, Scully?" Scully's finger found itself
trailing to a point on his left chest, expecting to
find...something. When she looked up all she saw was the love
he'd carried there in his hazel depths for more years than she
could remember. Her constant. Her touchstone. How she loved him.
He leaned down and kissed her.
"What happened Mulder?" That was his Scully, logical as
ever. The bottom lip came out in a bemused pout. "I..."
"Ummm? Dunno, Scully. Guess it's a kind magic...if you
believe." His hazel eyes twinkled with an unknown knowledge.
"Do you?"
"I...believe in love, in us and that you will be there for
me no matter what." He kissed her tenderly. "Merry
Christmas, baby." He broke away breathless. Watching her
fingers as they settled over his heart, stroking.
"Something....happened...I-"
"Let's just believe, go join the others. It's our first
Christmas. C'mon. The thought of your mom's Christmas dinner is
getting me hungry."
"Not the only thing you're hungry for I bet. Okay...okay.
Merry Christmas Mulder, I love you."
"Love you, Scully. I'll make you believe that later...after
Billy's gone home."
"Gonna hold you to that G-man.."
Mulder looked out the window into Margaret Scully's back garden.
The day had been perfect as any he could have imagined. It was
about love, family; acceptance and being together, even Billy had
called a truce. Another man slid into the refection behind him,
watching the tree lights flick on and off.
"Mulder?"
"Yes sir?"
"Why do I get the feeling...."
"I know, ...I know sir, its something. I...had this feeling
all day..." He looked at the stars and saw them move all of
a sudden as if they were dancing just for him.
"Sir...Walter...? "
Scully walked out to join them at the back door, smiling as only
Happy Scully could, her arms sliding around both their waists.
She planted a kiss on both their cheeks.
"Yeah, Mulder?"
"Nothing I'm just ...well ...feels like we have been given a
wonderful gift. I ..er can't explain. "
"Know what I think, Mulder?"
"It's a kind of magic," they all said in unison.
"If you believe..." Mulder's voice drifted into the
night.
The old man took a bow. His last gift gratefully received.
THE END

Visit 'Truth's Odysee
X-Files'!
Disclaimer:
Season of goodwill and all that. I'm just borrowing them from CC
and Fox who own them. Il send them home full of eggnog, a bag of
prezzies and full tummies.No profit Bah humbug. ;))))