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"He's
violent."
The words rang in her ears. Scully had seen Mulder violent, on
more occasions than she cared to remember. He'd been violent with
her over the phone when he'd awakened from a drugged stupor and
fever after his father had been murdered. He'd been violent
enough to pull the trigger on Alex Krycek later that same day.
He'd been violent when he'd slugged John Roche in an
interrogation room after the serial killer had played mind games
with him for an hour. He'd later shot Roche in an abandoned bus
with a seven year old girl not more than three feet away.
He'd been violent when he'd pulled the trigger that put a bullet
in Robert Modell's head and saved her life.
And in each of those times, he'd spent the next hours or days in
a self appointed hell of guilt and self recrimination. Except for
the three days he'd spent in a drug induced coma that she'd
provided.
She stood outside the door to his room. There was a small glass
window reinforced with wire. She could see him pacing like a
caged tiger. Every third or fourth circuit he would put his hands
to his head, pulling at his hair in an effort to stop the pain,
the noise in his mind. She could see where he'd already pulled
out a fair amount of strands. If she didn't get him calmed down,
he'd be bald in spots.
The orderly was talking and she was dividing her attention
between the words and the sight before her.
"This is a panic button, it's really simple. You just push
this red button the minute you feel he's getting too wild. We'll
be standing here with a jacket. If drugs won't settle him, Doc
says we have to go for the 'old fashioned' method." The man
looked positively gleeful as he held out the canvas contraption
resplendent with webbed straps and velcro closures. A long way
from the leather straps and metal buckles she'd seen in the old
movies, but the effect was the same. Mulder wouldn't be able to
move a muscle while they tied him down to a bed and into five or
possibly seven point restraints.
She shivered, but tried hard not to let the orderly see. He'd
more than likely think she was shivering out of fear of what she
was about to do, about to encounter. How far from the truth. She
was shivering out of fear, but not of her partner. Rather she was
afraid _for_ him. If he wasn't insane already, being tied up like
a prized Christmas goose would surely go a long way to pushing
him over the edge. She had to do everything in her power to avoid
that.
"Open the door, please," she said, her voice controlled
and steady. Taking a deep breath, she waited while the locks
clicked back and the metal door hissed as it opened.
Mulder stopped dead in his tracks, prepared to lunge. But when he
saw who was standing in the doorway, he crumbled to the floor.
"Scully . . . oh god, Scully. Thank god, thank god," he
sobbed and in an instant she was kneeling next to him, taking him
into her arms.
"Shh, Mulder. It's all right, it's all right," she
murmured softly into his hair as she stroked his head and back.
"It's all right now."
"It hurts. It hurts so goddamned bad," he moaned,
leaning into her. "And they're out to get us. You know that.
Skinner, Diana, Spender the older, Krycek, all of them. They are
out to get us, Scully and I can hear them, bits and pieces and I
was so scared. Krycek went out west . . . he was going to kill .
. ."
She lost the words in his sobs against her shoulder. "It's
all right Mulder. I know, I know all about it."
"I was so afraid they wouldn't let you come," he said
quietly. Then he looked up to the corner of the room where the
security camera sat undisguised against the ceiling.
"They're watching us. They watch me all the time. They
watched me take a piss in the corner this morning," he
grinned at her. "I did it just to make 'em mad."
She couldn't hide her return grin. Rage against the machine,
Mulder, she thought silently.
"Every chance I get," he said aloud.
She looked at him confused for a moment.
"It's clearing up a little. The noises. I can hear your
voice in my head, Scully. Unfortunately, it seems to increase the
pain level when it's the clearest." He immediately grabbed
his head and rocked, his eyes clenched tight in agony. "Oh,
god, Scully, tell me you brought your gun. Just one bullet, right
between my eyes," he gasped and doubled over as the pain
increased.
There was nothing she could do but hold him. She rubbed his back,
rubbed his temples. He grabbed her hands and pressed them into
his flesh, her knuckles digging into the bone of his skull.
"So bad, so bad," he mumbled over and over again, and
she could almost feel the pain through her fingers.
"Mulder, let me get the doctor. We can use morphine,
demoral, something to ease the pain. Please, let them try . .
."
He grew wild eyed and threw himself out of her arms. "No!
No, Scully! Absolutely not!" He cowered over in a huddled
mass, his eyes beseeching her. "That's what they want. They
want me senseless. Then I won't be able to hear them thinking. I
won't know their plans." He was panting with the sheer
effort it took to speak to her. "Please, Scully, no more
drugs."
She bit her lip. She couldn't drug him when he was so adamant
against it. Besides, hadn't the doctor already mentioned that
they'd pumped him full of every sedative they could come up with
and nothing was making a dent.
"My ass hurts from the needles, too, for all the good it did
them," he grinned ferally and then monkeyed the same grin
for the camera above.
She shook her head, annoyed.
"Sorry," he said meekly. "I can't help it, really.
If I could turn it off, I would. But Scully, I would never . . .
well, you know." He blushed slightly and she smiled at him.
"Read my mind and tell?" she teased gently.
"You know me better than that," he returned seriously.
"Oh, and I'm sorry about . . . Diana," he said, turning
the two of them away from the camera. "You were right. She's
been in on it all along. I'm a big dope, Scully, but all I can
say in my defense is that you should have figured that out
sometime in the last six years." He chewed on his bottom lip
and waited for her response.
"What made you change your mind?" she asked, staring at
the floor, not trusting herself to look him in the eye.
He brought up her face to his level with his index finger.
"I don't know what happened. I passed out in a stairwell in
the Science Building at AU. I think I saw Krycek, but I can't be
sure. The next thing I knew, somebody was dragging me out of a
car and into my apartment. When I really woke up, Diana was
there. She got me to my bed."
Scully's eyes went wide, but she said nothing.
"It's not what you think, Scully. I crawled into bed fully
clothed, no funny business. Your call woke me up later, whenever
that was. After talking to you, I tried to go back to sleep.
Diana came in . . . and, well . . ." He seemed to grow more
and more uncomfortable.
"Mulder, if something happened . . . you don't have to tell
me. It's your business." The words were genuine, even if the
feeling behind them was weak, at best.
He shook his head emphatically no. "Scully, she initiated, I
rejected. I swear on every truth I've ever found. And it pissed
her off royally!" He closed his eyes briefly.
"Scully, she used a stun gun on me." He pulled his
hospital gown away from his neck so she could take a look.
"And then she drugged me." He showed her a small
injection site on his upper left arm.
"I was freaking out when I came to. I don't know what she
used, but you couldn't have controlled me with a whip and a
chair," he said with a deep sigh, the pain and betrayal in
his eyes. "She called the EMTs and told them I was
violent." He chewed on his lip for a moment. "Must have
worn off by now, huh?"
"Oh, Mulder," she whispered, touching his cheek.
He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. When he opened his
eyes, he appeared pain free. He suddenly pulled her into a hug,
whispering into her ear. "We need the rest of the
artifact."
She mimicked his gesture, burying her face in his shoulder.
"Mulder, we have no idea . . ." she whispered in his
ear.
"The only place we haven't looked is the most obvious,
Scully. Back on the Ivory Coast. If part of it washed up on
shore, there might be more just under the sand. The rest of it
might be there."
"Well, it's obvious you aren't going to be going any time
soon," she pointed out firmly. "And I refuse to leave
you, especially since we aren't sure of our 'friends' and their
loyalties."
"Now that I've had a chance to talk to you, Scully and the
stuff is wearing off, I feel a little safer. Call the boys. Have
them come and keep on eye on the hallway. Diana won't try
anything in a hospital. Skinner won't try anything if the boys
are around, they're too sneaky and he knows it. Then you can take
off for the dark continent." He broke their embrace, running
his finger down her cheek. "That should give Diana something
to chew on," he muttered just under his breath with a wink.
"Scared you, did she?" Scully tried hard not break into
a wide smile at his actions.
"I wasn't _that_ far gone. She tried, I denied. And whatever
she used on me, if it was an aphrodisiac, she needs to get her
money back."
"Hell hath no fury . . ." Scully recited in lowered
tones. "Now I at least understand why the sedatives didn't
work on you. They were fighting against the drug in your system.
Guess it was pretty strong stuff."
"Damned straight," he sighed. "Look, tell them you
calmed me down. I'm so tired, Scully. I just want to sleep. Get
Byers, Frohike and Langly over here, and I can catch a few Zs.
And take plenty of sunblock, you know how you burn," he
added in a whisper with another finger run down her arm.
"Let them give you something for the pain and it's a
deal," she countered. At his frown she forged on.
"Mulder, I'm worried about you. I want the doctor to do a
tox screen and make sure whatever Diana gave you is out of your
system. But I don't want to come home to find you've blown an
aneurism. You need to rest and to do that, you need to be pain
free." He still seemed to be resisting. "Besides, it
would go a long way to convincing them that I've managed to tame
the 'wild beast'," she added and was relieved to hear his
resigned sigh.
"Bring it on," he said, none to enthusiastically.
He was sitting calmly against the wall when Scully pounded on the
door to signal the end of the visit. The orderly stared at the
two of them in amazement. Within seconds, Mulder's doctor was at
the door.
"How did you do that?" he demanded right as Skinner and
Diana rounded the corner to join them.
"I've always had a way of bringing out the best in
him," Scully said coyly, mostly for Diana's benefit.
"Well, I really would like to continue with the tests. But
he's not had any rest in almost 20 hours. If I could count on him
staying calm . . ."
"You can," Scully assured him. "He gave me his
word. I'd like you to do a tox screen, just in case. And he asked
for some pain killer. I suggest demoral, it's a little easier on
him." She glanced over to Diana, expecting her to object,
but the older woman didn't say a word. This stuff must be hard to
detect, Scully mused silently.
"Yes, of course," the doctor responded, pulling out his
order pad and scribbling the instructions. "And we'll get
him in a bed. Now that he's not longer agitated, we can at least
get him more comfortable."
The orderly still holding the straight jacket looked disappointed
that he wouldn't be able to put the item to use. The doctor
looked over to him. "Put that somewhere close, in case we
need it yet, but get a wheelchair so we can take Agent Mulder to
his room. And tell the nurse I need to speak with her about his
medication."
Mulder calmly sat down in the wheelchair, but reached over to
take Scully's hand. Scully lowered her eyes and shifted her gaze
to note happily that Diana was doing a slow burn at his actions.
They all moved quickly down the hallway.
Just a few feet from the door which was his room, Mulder's grip
on Scully's hand tightened. She looked down at his face
immediately. His face was ashen, his breathing was suddenly
labored. As she watched his eyes rolled back in his head and he
slumped over, still clutching her hand.
"Mulder? Mulder!" she shouted, then put her free hand
on the orderly's shoulder to get him to stop. "Doctor,
quick!" she said, checking his pulse at his neck. "His
pulse is erratic, he's having trouble getting air." She
moved away so that the doctor had room.
"Get him in the bed," he ordered and the young man
hurried to comply. Mulder was wheeled into the room and hoisted
into the bed, which was laid flat and raised to it's highest
position. The doctor hit the call button and the nurse's voice
came over the intercom.
The doctor ordered the nurse to come down immediately and assist
him. Scully noticed that Skinner and Diana were huddled in the
doorway and pushed them both into the hall.
"We're in the way. They'll need the room to work," she
explained, all the while wanting nothing more than to go back
into the room and make sure the doctor was doing things the way
she would have.
The nurse rushed past with the familiar blue cart equipped with
similarly colored machines. Scully knew the significance on
sight, but realized the others might not. "He may be having
a heart attack," she provided calmly. She wanted to accuse
Diana on the spot, but without the evidence, it would serve no
purpose.
"Oh god!" Diana exclaimed, throwing a hand to her
mouth. Skinner just opened his mouth as if to speak and then
closed it without saying a word.
After several minutes, when it appeared that the activity in the
room was not slowing at all, Scully motioned to a bank of chairs
in the hallway. "Let's take a seat," she suggested.
Wordlessly, the two followed her. When they'd been sitting for a
while, Skinner finally turned to Scully.
"What's happening? Why is he having these episodes? Is that
what caused his . . . attack?"
Scully shrugged. "I don't know. We won't know, not until the
doctor can do some tests. But if his heart is affected, we'll
have to wait a while on some of those." She resumed her
examination of the white tiles of the floor.
"I need coffee," Diana announced and quickly left the
two of them in their seats.
"She's a piece of work," Skinner muttered, shaking his
head. Scully's expression caught his eyes. "It's not what
you think," he told her firmly.
"I think you're walking that tightrope again and the wind is
coming from the wrong direction," Scully said evenly.
"I'm trying to protect you, Scully," Skinner hissed.
"Would that protection extend to both Mulder and myself,
sir?" Scully shot back, a raised eyebrow the only indication
that her question was sarcastic.
Skinner let out an exasperated breath and rolled his eyes to the
ceiling. "Of course it does."
"And Agent Fowley, as well?" Scully continued.
"No, and you know it. Fowley has . . . her own interests in
this."
"Is that why you slipped up and let me know that you've been
bugging our office, sir?" Scully asked, lips pursed in
scorn.
Skinner licked his lips nervously and Scully almost felt sorry
for her superior. "I'm under constant surveillance myself,
Scully. And I think you remember the consequences for any
indiscretion on my part."
Scully closed her eyes. "I need to get the other
artifact," she said softly.
"Then do it."
"With Diana watching my every move?"
"Let's get Mulder settled. Then just say you're going home
to change, take a shower, whatever. I'll handle Fowley."
"Playing both sides again, sir?" Scully said, but with
a ghost of a twinkle in her eye.
"If possible," he responded. "I can only help so
much, Scully. But up to that point, I'll do all I can."
She nodded.
Diana was just coming back when the doctor came out of the room.
The doctor walked over to them, Mulder's chart in his hands.
"Agent Scully, if I could have a word with you."
"Agent Mulder wouldn't mind if AD Skinner heard what you
have to say," she told him. He nodded, then sat down on the
bank of chairs next to Scully.
"He had a 'hiccup'," the doctor said bluntly.
Scully sighed in relief, but Diana and Skinner were still looking
concerned. "I don't understand. He had the hiccups?"
the AD asked.
Scully smiled briefly. "No, sir. He had a heart palpitation.
Brought on by the extreme doses of barbiturates and his extended
period of agitation." She shot a dagger look over to Diana,
then turned her attention back to the doctor. "But the
fainting worries me."
He answered her unasked question. "Exhaustion, I would
diagnose. It did serve one useful purpose. He's out like a light.
I would guess that the sedatives finally caught up with him. I'm
hoping he'll sleep through the night. If that's the case, I plan
on starting some of those tests in the morning."
"The pain killer?" Scully asked.
"I've left an order for demoral. All he has to do is ask. If
the dosage is insufficient, the nurses know to reach me
immediately and I can change the order."
"Thank you, I appreciate that," Scully said with
another smile.
"Well, I think it would be best if everyone went home and
got some rest. The nurse at the desk has your number, Agent
Scully, in the event that you're needed. You are his next of kin,
am I right?"
Scully nodded and took great pleasure in the shocked look that
Diana quickly suppressed.
The doctor shook hands and left. Scully stood and stretched,
Skinner did likewise.
"Well, Diana, we might as well call it a night,"
Skinner said. "Can I give you a ride?"
Diana looked like she was going to object, but Scully had already
moved toward Mulder's door and stood in the doorway as if
claiming her turf.
"Thank you for your help, Diana. We'll be fine
tonight." It was almost impossible to keep from emphasizing
the word 'we'. Diana gave her a sour nod of the head and then
turned on her heel and followed Skinner to the elevators.
Scully moved into the darkened room, the light from the hallway
shining across the bed. He was on oxygen now, but just a cannula.
He was sure to pull it off when he woke up in the morning, but it
was helping him for the time being. She felt his forehead,
touched his neck to check his pulse, not trusting the machine
next to his head. It was almost back to normal.
She sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, just watching him
sleep. Her partner's words over the phone came back to her. What
if she found the last fragment? What would it mean to her,
personally? Would she have less faith in a God who rode around in
spaceships than in one who created the universe out of the mere
thoughts in his mind? Did this new possibility really negate her
religion, her faith, her view of the universe? She had long
balanced the high wire between scientific realities and her
faith. Could she add the trick of juggling these new discoveries
and still make forward progress, or would this tumble her to the
icy abyss below?
Scully took Mulder's hand, and brought it up to her lips,
pressing a gentle kiss on his knuckles. The action was so similar
to the kisses he'd given her when she was in the hospital for her
cancer. She had to banish the shiver that slid down her back.
"I'm about to leave, Mulder. Sleep well, be well. I'll be
back as soon as I can. In the meantime, I'll send our three
unlikely guardian angels over to keep watch." She leaned
over and kissed his forehead, then quietly left the room.
As the door closed behind her, Mulder smiled in his sleep.
the end (for now)
Disclaimer:
Dear Chris: We could have done without the strip tease and I
really wish you'd kept the part where Mulder told Diana to 'buzz
off', which earned him a stun gun kiss <G>, but over all,
at least you gave us fodder for the summer. I would never get
money for this, then it would be work. You keep the 16 hours days
and the profits, I'll keep watching :) No infringement intended.
bravenet.com