untitled
'TOGETHER'
By:
Xenith
Mulder, I
will continue to write this journal, addressing my words to you,
even though you lay in the bed, motionless in front of me. I have
no way of knowing what you can comprehend, either of my thoughts
or my words. I can only hope that you understand my thoughts
somehow.
I told you to hold on, to please hold on. How could I say more,
when so much remains unspoken between us? Do you see inside my
heart now? Skinner thinks that you can read minds, believes that
you are afflicted with some kind of clairvoyance.
Stranger things have happened to us both, and recently. I can
only hope that you are able to read my heart and see the thoughts
and feelings I am unable to turn into words. Things I have never
been able to say.
You must not die. If you die, then the greatest part of me must
follow you, as I have always followed you.
I hold your hand, warm and unresponsive in mine. Your eyes stare,
clear and blank, at the ceiling. Your face has no expression. And
your face is so shadowed and tired. But why do I think that
inwardly you are raging, screaming to be released? You seem so
peaceful, but I know that the drugs cast this illusion.
The nurses and doctor will not allow me to so much as loosen the
restraints, and I tell myself that you probably can't feel them.
I know that I am lying to myself. And I know that you hate them,
hate this place.
This place smells of disinfectant and terror.
They've cut your hair, undoubtedly to make it easier for the
nurses to care for on the long term. Long term. The doctor
doesn't talk about that any more, he speaks only of your probable
death. And if you don't die it will be worse. You will lie here,
in a bed like this, staring at a ceiling for years until death
mercifully releases you.
No. No, that won't happen. I won't let it happen. Dammit Mulder,
that spaceship has to be enough of a puzzle for you to fight for
your life. It's there. It's waiting for us to study it,
everything you've ever wanted to know is there. Waiting.
Reach for it, Mulder. Fight for it. Hold on, until we can go
there together.
And I will watch over you until then.
=====
THE END
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Disclaimer:
The X-files belong to Chris Carter and 1013 Productions, not me.
I'm only borrowing the characters for now. I'll put them back
when I'm done.
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